Ah Gee

Really??!!!  Today was a photography day. Dropped Miss Mona off for a much needed bath and instead of driving downtown, parked the car and boarded a crowded Metro train at the Universal City station. Commuter hour. No where to sit. I'm fine with that. Out of the corner of my eye an afro american teen complete with shades, earphones, ball cap on sideways and pants hanging down his ass stands stands and motions for me to sit in the seat he was just in.
You know, the one designated for seniors and the disabled. Sigh. So it really has come to this. I look old. I could just spit!!!

61st

The day began as all others. Picking up dog shit. Having coffee. Reading emails and the LA Times. Birthday ice cream from William. Lazy, hazy day.  Long chat and lots of laughs with Christa. Jude thought I was only 60, bless her soul.  Made me laugh.  BC sent remembrances from Northern Ireland. Quiet and uneventful. Simply put, another year passed.

Joy

NO CANCER.  Vet isn't sure what it is but knows it's not cancer. The jolt of elation that pulsed when I heard those words.  Oh my, joy and relief.  Instantly felt lighter.  The heavy, burdensome cloak of doom that had engulfed me disappeared immediately. Ramona felt the excitement as I spoke with the vet because she awoke from her nap and wandered over to be near me. I swear I could see relief in her soulful eyes as her tail wagged incessantly.  Happy Days!!!!!

Waiting

It's 3:36pm PST. Today is when the vet is scheduled to call to share results of Ramona's biopsy.  For humans, the past week has been miserable. I've been a black hole. Bill worried. Friends calling, emailing and texting, wondering. Ms. Mona by the nature of being a canine is oblivious. Her leg is still tender and she doesn't put too much weight on it. However, that doesn't stop her from wanting to run down two flights of stairs but we don't. The elevator is our friend.  I watch carefully as she jumps into and out of the 4 Runner, teaching hear to first jump onto the floor board and then climb into the back seat. Once in the car, she assumes the position of leaning against the back of the seat with her head out the window, watching the world pass.  She's learned to eat a spoonful of peanut butter and still manage to spite out the pain pills.  She's one smart dog.  And so we wait.  Tick Tock.

Ramona Pearl

My girl has been limping a little more after our daily hikes. Also noticed an occasional stumble.  The other day she squatted to pee and toppled to one side. Not funny. I immediately called the vet. Went in a got x-rays.  There was a mass on her left femur.  Couldn't tell what it was exactly. Infection or tumor. Did the bone biopsy yesterday. NOT an infection. Have to wait for a week before we know what we are dealing with. Biopsies are sent to UC Davis. Nerves are all askew. Worst scenario is bone cancer which means leg amputation  We can put men on the moon, make titanium legs for human amputees and yet haven't figured out how to do the same for dogs.  The news we want and pray for is a benign mass.  Light candles, say prayers, send good vibes for my sweet face girl.

Loss of a Friend

The email I knew would arrive did so this morning. My dear friend, Billy Ray Smith, passed away last night.  Given the time difference from LA to Oklahoma I can only ponder if his departure caused me to awake from a dead sleep around 1:30am PST.  One never knows does one? BR's contribution to my life was huge. Some of the most memorable moments.  A kind, generous soul. Long life. Just realized he missed his 81st birthday by 5 days.  No more pain Mr. Smith.

"A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out."
George Bernard Shaw

Mood Swings

Each day I have things to say and don't.  Time moves forward, I putz and nothing gets written. I'm at a loss.  Today is no different. While on the trail before dawn many thoughts rattled in my head, things I wanted to say. All gone now. Sigh.

Gremlins

Have you ever wondered if they really exist?  I'm back in the Land of La.  Upon my return I've discovered the internet cable modem was screwed up and my tiny gas heater wouldn't work. Spent hours on the phone trying to resolve the internet issue, certain that the upgrade to Lion had caused the problem. I was wrong. It was the modem and it took the repair guy 35 minutes to resolve the issue.  Seems something in the basement had "frozen?"  Really?  Frozen? What the hell does that mean?  Great guy actually and I'm pleased it got repaired but how and why did it happen?  The next issue was the heater. Pilot light is always lit. When I returned the temps dropped enough that I wanted some heat.  Turned the knob. Nothing. Tried lighting the pilot light, always a fearful adventure. Nada!  Waited 4 days for a repair person.  Nothing wrong with the unit. He informed me that when the pilot goes out there's a failsafe shut down. Nice. 10 minutes of examining the unit, running down to his truck, coming back up and then he lit the pilot light. Gremlins, I swear, gremlins.

Tis A Puzzlement

One of the dumbest things about the Y house is the fact that the heating oil furnace is in the living room. Great furnace. Blasts hot air like crazy BUT it only heats the living and dining rooms. There are no other heating elements in the home. Not in the bedrooms or baths.  Thus when it cold outside they become contained boxes of frigid cold air. Again I ask "what were Mom and Dad thinking," when the bought this place. Why did they move from a small two bedroom home they had built in Lake Shastina to this four bedroom, two bath 1960's ranch in Yreka? I still ponder this. My only rationalization boils down to two options. 1.) Lake Shastina is MILES away from a hospital which worried them OR 2.) the dementia that afflicted them both had already taken hold and buying the Yreka house was a result.  It's in the 20's outside at the moment. Frost on the ground. Furnace is blasting in hopes some of the heat will be retained. Did I mention the house has no insulation? Did I?  At present, Ramona is happily ensconced in front of the heat source becoming a "toasty mosty." girl. A high of 54 is predicted for today. I'm already in 3 layers of clothing. Rapture.

Reality

Time to face it dammit!  Must have been on crack when I dug my feet into the dirt and stated I was going to keep the house in Yreka. Claiming "a house is all I ever wanted from Dad," must have been delusional.  Yes it's lovely up North. Quieter. Calm. HOWEVER, it's a very depressed area, frigging cold in winter, AND there is $125K left on the TWO loans. In finally acting like a responsible adult I now know
it's not worth keeping nor do I truly want it.  Unless I can find a soul who wants to pay me a $150K in cash, bye bye Yreka house.  Let the B of A deal with you.
What a relief!!!!